Please be careful when you praise a child for being so mature beyond their years.
When I was 9 we got our first VCR. There was a huge RKO Video store in Times Square that sold VHS and Beta cassettes, and one day my parents and I went to the store to get our first tapes. They were really expensive in those days, costing as much as $80 a tape, so my mom and dad got to choose 2, and I would get to choose 1. My dad is working with the salesperson to locate his selections, my mom then chose her 2, and then the man leaned down to me and with the sing-songey voice adults sometimes use with kids said, “And what movie do you want?” Probably thinking I’d say something Disney-related. I looked up at him and said, “Do you have Arsenic and Old Lace?” He stood straight up and looked at my dad with sheer incredulity. My dad nodded his head like, “Yeah, she means it.” He was not ready for me 😆. And while it was funny then, and for years afterwards, it took me a while to realize that moment was indicative of something painful: I’ve sadly never been a little kid. Not even when I was a little kid.
Yes, I was born an “old soul.” I do believe I have reincarnated hundreds of times over. That bleeds through and I have had access to a wisdom at an early age that seemed far beyond my years, because it was. Some of my maturity was due to my intellect as well. But the real truth was I was exceedingly “wise” and “mature” for very specific reasons. Traumatic reasons.
My entire childhood I was consistently praised for something that was a sign of trauma.
Let’s start looking at kids’ “maturity” a little differently. Let’s at least be willing to engage with questions around why a child should have to be so mature.